Funny Encounters...

Me (black) with Mike (white) in Santa Cruz, CA lost and in need of directions to a meeting. We pull over, walk into a building, and then into first open door. Turns out it was a tanning salon and the attendant was in the back area. I told Mike, "Oooh, pluh-eeease let me ask!" As soon as the attendant comes out, I had a real serious look on my face and said "Hi. I came here last week and used your service, and I believe something went wrong." She looked for a second, her eyes got big, but Mike was already laughing. After the attendant put her heart back into her chest, she gave us directions while laughing.

October 31, Seattle's airport with Dennis: A person (an airline employee) in a Grim Reaper costume walking casually through the airport whistling. I turned to Dennis and said, "I sure hope he's not on my flight" and another person standing in line said "you and me both" while everyone in the check-in line stared silently to see which direction the Reaper was heading in. But I can just see it now, the Grim Reaper's collecting the tickets while there's some idiot complaining about a seat mix-up. "Ummm, I don't think it matters for this flight, just sit anywhere you like". Idiot: "Oh thanks! New uniform? hehe"

That same weekend, got stuck on a plane with the entire Stanford University marching band. Talk about funny costumes, especially the guy dressed as a Catholic school girl with hickeys on his neck and his blouse tied around his chest. They were so rowdy, the pilot, sounding like a high school teacher, threatened to turn the plane back around.

The Park Ranger and our tour guide at Liberty Park to a tourist who was smoking at the top of the Statue of Liberty: "Put out the cigarette! This is NOT the south!"

You know that "Roll-A-Ho's" commercial? Am I old enough to watch this? The commercial says things like "2 ho's for the price of one", "pops up like regular ho's", "is easy to use" and offers a money back guarantee. Wait...hold on....oh, it's "Roll-A-Hose" and they're talking about a garden hose. Ok, so I didn't actually look up when the commercial came on. My bad.

Courtesy Motel off Highway 4 in Englewood, NJ: Because it's so cheezy looking, everytime I pass it, I think, "Thank you for the f**k. Reply: You're very welcome. Come again."

Is it me?! Ok, so this car (license plate VN8 5**) in front of me runs a stop sign (now a "Yield" sign since no one stopped) on the corner of Bigler and Main St. from the left turn only lane.

Then, instead of staying in the left lane which is DEDICATED TO TURNING LEFT with NO oncoming traffic, she heads over to the right lane and impedes oncoming traffic. Then, she drives slowly and rarely looks at the road because the conversation in the car is MUCH more important. And the car is decorated with about a few dozen stuffed animals along the rear window.

At the next light, after it turns green she proceeds to drive, then immediately stops to point out a structure to her passenger and the many kids in the car (oh don't worry about us behind you, we'll just wait for you).

But here's the kicker: on her rear bumper was a "No Road Rage" bumper sticker. I'm guessing she's been cussed out a few times. But instead of improving her driving and attention skills, she purchased a "No Road Rage" sticker. NICE!

Ummm, these three four families should find a way to hook up and help each other out, instead of sending out confidential cries for help to complete strangers as part of a mass e-mail plan to catch some sucker, oops, I mean get help from some person. I just hope no one takes this nonsense seriously.
First cry for help.
Second cry for help.
"OK, I'm serious this time" cry for help.
Third cry for help.
Hmmm, maybe this is serious. I should do something. Uh, hello, is this the FBI? We've got three four families in crisis. Is there someone that can help these poor bastards? If possible, can we send them a dictionary or a Hooked On Phonics lesson? With all that money, you'd think they'd at least be able to buy a vowel every now and then.
Just call me Amnesty International!
I'm just so glad all variations of the same e-mail address are on the same MASS mailing list!
Even more cries for help! Man, Tao really needs some help badly
And just in case I didn't receive the first request

Speaking of which, here's a very funny quiz to find out which Nigerian spammer you are: www.bbspot.com humor

Funniest "Playa" Lines